Baby Not Expensive Due To Dad’s Missing Life

October 5, 2010 in First Year Fatherhood  

Baby Not Expensive Due To Dad’s Missing Life

Money’s tight, and not as easy to make as it was a couple years ago. Now, more than ever, people are worried about how expensive it is to have a baby, often times opting for the $$ excuse: “yea, a few more years to get our foundation set financially and then we’ll start trying to make little people… through sexing.”

My wife and I were actually pretty worried about this too. When you’re just starting out you don’t know how much this baby thing is going to cost you.

Well, let me tell you what the first several months of parenthood are like: in the first months of parenthood there’s a lot less time for everything: money, romance, reading, hobbies, happiness, everything.

Say goodbye to going to movies, happy hours, restaurants, bars, concerts or anything else that isn’t in your living room and also isn’t sleep. No matter how into those things you are, you’re probably not going to be able to do much of it. Your kid owns you… and your WoGF (wife or girlfriend) owns you next. But…

The Silver Lining

But here’s the silver lining to all this – besides the fact that your kid and WoGF are great, like, seriously great man! You did well for yourself!

because you’re not going to see movies, buying new video games, having drinks and eats in bars, or spending virtually anything in the “entertainment” or “stay-married-fun” categories, you’re actually saving all that money!

“Alright! We’re saving loads of money now!”

Of course you’re spending money on new baby sh!t: diapers, bottles, formula, strollers, car seats, cribs, changing tables, wet-wipes, prozac, Grey Goose (therapist’s orders!), etc… But it’s not nearly as bad as you thought because these expenses are offset by your non-life.

“Wow! When my life was about happiness I was trying new things, enjoying culture, going on dates etc. Now I’m just in survival mode. The cost savings is substantial!”

So in the end, you probably break even:

  • You get a kid
  • Lots of new, “fun” expenses
  • And then you simply exchange all the things you used to do for fun for half-naps.

I think we’re actually saving money now compared to our expenses 9 months before my son entered the picture –  because all that pre-baby happiness is expensive! (But if we didn’t have all that Grey Goose and Cadbury’s we wouldn’t have a baby, now would we?).

And now you’re learning… because you’re so much less likely to get another box of Grey Goose! Or are you? ;)

So, when you think about having a baby, or hear others talk about the new expenses that come with a child blah blah blah… Just remember, you’re not simply adding a baby onto your life… You’re removing your life and then just filling up the emptiness with a baby! So you break even.

Here’s a question: what’s the most surprising expense that came with the baby? Is it how expensive diapers are, and how fast the little ones blow through them? Is it the marital counseling that comes with being completely pwned by chid-rearing? Something else? Do share!

Please Comment & Add Your Voice!

Gary Cottrell October 5, 2010 at 8:25 am

Formula. I have twin boys and they drink massive quantities of this stuff. Costco loves us.

Check out the pic

We are out of the formula stage now, but that supply went quickly. We were going through almost a can a week. That pic contains roughly $600 worth of formula.

We would mix up daily supplies in a pitcher to save the effort of mixing every bottle.


Chase October 5, 2010 at 8:28 am

Oh yikes… that’s some serious formula stockage!

Metroknow October 5, 2010 at 1:08 pm

Although my kids are now beyond “new” at 3 and 6, our biggest unexpected expense is by far babysitting. To go out anywhere it is a minimum of $50 bucks just to have somebody in our house while our children are asleep.


Chase October 5, 2010 at 1:18 pm

Ugh… yea, you should definitely get cheaper babysitting… Have you found any outsourced options? Any “4 hour work week” child-care solutions?

Samuel October 5, 2010 at 2:13 pm

My wife and I tried for a while to form a small co-op of parents, each willing to trade a night of babysitting for a night of having their babies sat. It worked for a few months, but the families involved sort of drifted apart (we all had new first babies, and our attention spans showed it). But in theory, it still seems like this type of idea could work.

Matthew Reeder October 5, 2010 at 1:53 pm

Out? What is this “. . . out?”

Actually, in the Chicago area, I have found METROKNOW’s quote to be on the low end of average. And then there is matter of finding someone trustworthy whose schedule actually coincides with those rare moments when we can take an evening out . . .


Metroknow October 5, 2010 at 3:04 pm

For us we’ve had numerous babysitters ranging from $6/hr to $10/hr, all with varying degrees of reliability and transportation. That is for two kids, but still. Adds up if you have an evening from 5PM to 11PM – even at the midpoint it’s $48 plus tip (which we do). That said, we consider it a really, really important part of maintaining our relationship to go out for an evening at least once a month without the kids (preferably twice a month if we can swing it). Add in dinner and a drink or two, and you’re looking at a hundred bucks on average. Add in a movie with popcorn and a drink and you have a small car payment.


Chuck Spidell October 8, 2010 at 5:29 pm

An excellent way to save $$ is on clothes. Get donations from friends with kids and hit up the local children’s reseller stores. And when it comes to preschool time, be willing to join a co-op.


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