Get To Know Your Kid #Remember

September 21, 2010 in Fatherhood Insights  

Get To Know Your Kid #Remember

I was relaxing on the couch… Aiden was cruising about the family room, doing his thing… and then I looked at him, and I don’t know if it was the lighting or what, but in that moment I was struck with the sensation that this was a whole, entire person – with feelings and hopes and ideas, etc. And the question exploded from within me:

Do I even know this kid?

I sure as hell don’t want to get to a point in life where I realize I didn’t do my part to get to know my kid… So, today, I’m going to get down on the floor with him, see a little of his world… if only to physically remind me that this is a real person, and I desperately want to get to know him better.

Please Comment & Add Your Voice!

Julie Neale September 21, 2010 at 9:44 am

Hey Chase

That was really good to see, keep it up, it’s only going to get better.

Your other mother

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Chase September 21, 2010 at 9:46 am

Thanks Moomer!

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Courtney September 21, 2010 at 2:02 pm

Boom. Lightning. Good thing to remember. Last night we built forts in the living room. They squealed with glee as I tried to drag them out by there ankles. The best sound in the world is the sound of your own kids belly laughing. Knowing what makes them laugh and why is a good way to ‘know them’ I think.

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Chase September 21, 2010 at 2:20 pm

Ah! Belly laughter… so true! Courtney, I implore you, please teach us the secrets and hacks of the belly laugh!

I can get my son with the two-fold duck-chest to pinch-thigh maneuver, or “The Quacking Scorpion.”

This is good, we must explore more belly laughter maneuvers!

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Courtney September 21, 2010 at 2:25 pm

Ah… I know “The Quacking Scorpion”. My kids love that at first and then it overwhelms them so I have to pull back. At 4 and 2, anything that involves a dumb face and goofy noise is pretty much a lock. It’s even better if I let them give the cue by clapping to get the face (a.k.a. “The Clapper”). They get so drunk with power they can’t control themselves. This game only gets funnier if Dad has had a glass of vino or three. Lubricates the face muscles. Try it at home! With Short People!

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Tim September 22, 2010 at 5:39 am

Good point, Chase. I’m a 33 year old with 3 kids (6, 3 and 6 months). They’re a constant source of laughs and enjoyment. Number 1 advice I’ve learnt is to spend uninterrupted time with each one, every day, even if only 20 mins. We can learn so much about life from our kids :)

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Chase September 22, 2010 at 7:34 am

Tim: Great point! All it takes is 20 uninterrupted minutes a day… I feel like that’s an easy little thing to commit to.

Cheers!

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Kevin Thomas September 23, 2010 at 12:31 am

Chase, great stuff on this here blog. I’m just wondering where your drink was for this video? I have no kids, that i know of, ooooohhh! cue the drums, but I love what you’re trying to do here. As a kid who’s father wasn’t around too much because of divorce, I appreciate what you’re doing for your kid and others to come.

Tofurkey,

Kevin

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Chase September 23, 2010 at 11:23 am

@Kevin: Thanks man! I appreciate that!

Oh, and my drink disintegrated when the lightning struck… or it just got spilled when I put it on my belly and fell asleep… which may have actually been the lightning, now that I think about it.

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Greg September 23, 2010 at 2:47 pm

Chase… Nice site, and terrific post. Thanks for the reminder to get down on the ground with the kids. Anytime we stoop to their eye level we’re communicating better with them. I find it just gets a little tougher to remember to do as they get older. I look forward to reading and watching more from you.

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Chase September 23, 2010 at 3:30 pm

Thanks Greg… I’m still early on, and he’s still a little squirt, and it’s already too easy to forget…

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shana September 24, 2010 at 2:51 pm

i have such admiration for how eager you are to learn to be present with your child. heart-warming. great video. i don’t have kids of my own but have ‘mothered’ many and shoot lots of them! great website – glad to find you.

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Chase September 24, 2010 at 3:33 pm

@Shana, It’s less that I’m naturally eager to get to know my son, and more that I’m afraid of regret! At least that feels like the strongest motivation right now.

Also, thanks for fessing up to it, but the whole father community would appreciate it if you would stop shooting kids… it’s rude to kill or mame our bio-creations. We worked hard on them. thx. :)

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Rob Koch September 27, 2010 at 2:24 pm

G’day Chase and fellow apprentices. Your fame has already spread downunder! I am based in Melbourne heading up BETTER MEN Australia. As one of a rare breed of pioneers who work full-time with Dads and consulting to professionals who do, I will do what I can to promote what you’re doing. I like your style and initiative. Very funky website too. Let me know if there’s any other way I can support you guys. I’ll get a link happening from our website. Next time I’m in Portland let’s have a red together!

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Chase September 27, 2010 at 3:18 pm

Awesome, Rob! Thanks! I appreciate it!

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Chuck Spidell September 28, 2010 at 10:34 am

Totally agree on this. My dad was a 50s man and had the “you-son-me-dad” personality. So he never really got to know me (or my brothers) before passing away. So I’m really big on getting in touch with my son’s personality. His level is my level and I want to be part of his life.

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Metroknow September 28, 2010 at 11:10 am

Another post right on the mark. I definitely feel operate on the same basis, basically trying to be sure I don’t have regrets later. I often remind myself that I can never get this time with them back – once it’s gone it’s gone! Thanks for the great reminder – especially wrapped in some humor.

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Benjamin September 28, 2010 at 11:52 am

I’m feeling you on this one, man. It becomes more and more clear every day that my daughter is her own individual, with interests, a sense of humour (she thinks farts are funny, too!), fears, and desires. It’s flippin’ mind blowing! What a huge privilege/responsibility to be there with her as she becomes a little girl and watch as she begins to make sense of herself and the world she lives in. It’s humbling, terrifying, and super exciting!

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