As a new parent, the only faint wisps of accomplishment and productivity you get is when your little one is passed out in some other room with 14 fans on and your car backed up against the window idling and gently vibrating that side of the house so he/she/it will sleep as long as infantly possible.
There is no time more special to a new parent than the time the baby is sleeping.
And one of the most g’dam frustrating things in the f’n life of a new parent is when you can’t put your child down to sleep because they keep friggen waking up.
The kid will be so damn tired, and yet, every time you try to put it down, when you make that final move to gently dispose of the body into the padded receptacle, it blinks and looks up at you, as if it was saying, “you’ve got to be kidding me… That’s the best you’ve got??”
What’s even worse is when you get him down into the bed fine — your arms underneath him, his eyes relaxed close, mouth agape just a bit, little lower lip whimpering, occasional phantom suck and/or deep belly dream sound — and you try to slowly, oh so slowly and quietly, remove your arms from underneath him… When BANG! Eyes open, all smiles, and it’s f’n play time again!! FML.
Fail No More!
Hark! Today I reveal to you a trick that will make you the master of the put down. It’s called the Ultimate Sleeper Put-Down Move 2.0.
Like all amazing life secrets, this secret trick hinges on reversing logic.
The Old, Bad Way:
Normally you cradle the head in the nook of your arm, with your other arm supporting the bottom and legs. This is bad… and old. We’re going to reverse that. (click the pic for a larger version)
The New, Excellent Way:
Take the arm that normally supports the head, and move it under the bottom. Then, take your bottom arm and support the head. Now your arms are running parallel with the baby’s body, instead of wrapped around it (see pictures).
It may take a little while to get used to this, but soon enough you’ll be droppin’ babies in cribs with the deft touch of one of those circ du soliel things. You’re welcome!
What’s a trick/tip you’ve learned about putting your baby down?? Please share!
About Father Apprentice
He should mention that i am actually the inventor of the ultimate sleeper put down move… That sh*t is my intellectual property.
prolly goes without saying, babe.
Cognac! Just kidding. But I do employ the “30 Second Parking” rule. After deftly moving across the room (or house) with said sleeping baby in your arms, park it at the crib before putting him/her in the bed. Give it at least 30 seconds before the lowering into the crib. During this time try not to shift position to much. Maybe ever so gently rock back and forth, give a pat or two to the bottom or just stand there sending good vibes to the gods of baby sleep.
The way I figure it, there’s two volatile times in transport….the trip to the crib and the obvious lowering into the crib. If the monster wakes up or becomes more awake during the transport to the crib you may not know this until it’s too late (when those lil eyes dart open). The 30 Second Parking Rule allows a buffer time to have them drift back to sleep before going through with step two. Think of it is a great return on your time investment.
I’ve found that since employing this rule my “continued baby sleeping success” has risen dramatically. Thanks for the advice on the Ultimate Sleeper Put-Down Move 2.0. I think it’s really gonna take it to the next level for me.
30 Second parking rule… In.. the… bag!
Excellent tip. I need this move.
Great post – very funny and I will have to try this new hold move. As a Dad of 3, with the youngest at 11 months, I’ll say my best tip is to actually put the baby down awake.
What?!? you say? Sounds crazy, I know.
With baby #1, I spent the amount of time equivalent to a part time job putting that child to sleep. I’d feed him a bottle, rock him, go for a walk, use a fan, dark room, fuzzy blanket, etc. Even got to the point that I would walk on our treadmill with the fan on for white noise for up to 20 minutes to get him to sleep. Crazy but it worked. Very tiring and way to much effort.
Now, with baby #3, I just feed him a bottle and once he’s drank it all, put him in his crib awake. He usually rolls over and goes to sleep within 5 minutes or so.
It’s counter-intuitive, but it works. The sooner you teach baby to put them self to sleep, the better for them and for parents!
Baby #1 and #3 both have similar personalities, so it’s not anything different with them, it’s all in my approach as a dad.
Now if anyone knows how to keep a 3 and 4 year old to stay in their bed at bedtime, give me a call, cuz I haven’t figured that out yet.
can I recommend hugging the 3&4 year olds until they pass out? It always worked for my brother and I.
Good tip! Thanks Tom!
Question: how old was your baby #3 when you started putting him/her down awake? I am on baby #1 and she is 3 months, it takes me 1+ hour everyday to put her down to sleep on her own. Any tips? Thanks!
Omfg thank you so much for this & for the photos! I have a one-year-old who is great sleeper, but actually placing him in the crib is the biggest obstacle. He can be passed-out almost snoring in my arms but he’s got a crazy radar or something. I sometimes even have to use a small blanket to “air lift” him and lower him into the crib – crazy, I know. I can’t wait to try your method tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wish me luck…
Ha! Good luck Natalie! Wrap it up tight and let er’ rip! Let us know how it goes.
Thank u soooo much came across this trying to find ways to transfer my baby and it worked!!!! I was doing so many tricks before rocking to lower into crib, making sure the bottom touched first, keeping the hands there for a while, making sure her hands limp before putting her down the works. This worked first time!! Was a little awkward as she is eight months but sure I’ll get better with practice.